Lily&James from the POV of Lily Evans aged 16
by hannahFACE
Summary: This is a story written in Lily's own hand, remembering the times she and James Potter had at Hogwarts. But what did she really feel?


**Lily & James**

**From the point of view of Lily Evans**

**Aged 16 ½**

"Mum now I really have to go!" I watched the Hogwarts express choke the station with a greyish black smoke, and I kissed my mother goodbye with a heavy heart. As much as she knew so little about magic, and was unable to help me do anything she was well intentioned. I glanced around me; saw numerous amounts of children watching the great steam engine that was eager to go. Children who were too small to go to the Wizarding School were crying, their older brothers and sisters comforting them. There were parents kissing their children goodbye, and looking at the large station clock which reach 10:58, (two minutes to go before the train was due to leave,) then I looked and noticed the owls, rats, cats, and frogs, that were also travelling to Hogwarts this year. This journey to Hogwarts would be my last, as it was my seventh year. I had always enjoyed Hogwarts, felt it was like a second home, and got on with most people, except _him_. The boy who had made my life hell for six years he would not give up until I gave in, I knew it. He had always teased me, called me 'Evans' rather than 'Lily' when he knew I hated it. Tried to make me fall for that roguish charm that worked for everybody else, but I saw straight through him, I knew that James Potter was nothing more than an arrogant scoundrel who thought everyone and everything owed him something. However, there was bigger fish to fry this year, there was more to study, more to learn and yet even these seemed like small fry when compared to the goings on outside Hogwarts. Now that there was a crazed idiot on the loose, going by the name of Lord Voldemort, I felt that Hogwarts was going to be very different, and that the word Mud blood, would be far more popular in the corridors, this year than it was in times gone by.

I had heard that many of the Slytherins had joined this little group of followers, including two of Sirius' family members, Regulus and Bellatrix, and so it was only time before it began to affect the rest of us. There had been talk of them using the 'Unforgivable Curses', but nobody knew if this was true, and there was nobody we could ask.

Forcing myself to think of something else, I stared at the deep red paint and the peeling gold letters that read, 'Hogwarts Express', I suppressed a smile, placed my 'Head Girl' badge onto my robes and boarded the train. I was so proud, when I had received the letter saying that I was to be head girl, I had polished the great shining gold badge every day since it was sent, and now I wore it with pride. Once aboard the train, I felt like I was home. It was a happy sight. The plump witch who served the trolley was smiling whilst selling Pumpkin Pasties to a group of third years. The Hufflepuff's were arguing about who would win the Quidditch Cup already and a group of first years, leaped out of my way, evidently worried I would stand on them if they stayed there. Stepping into the empty compartment, I wondered where everyone was. I wondered who Head Boy was, and I wondered what this year would bring.

"Hey, Evans." A familiar voice called as he pushed back the sliding door.

"Potter, you do know that this compartment, is for the head boy and girl, right?" I glanced at him barely looking up from my copy of _Hogwarts: A History, _at all, and he replied courteously, "Of course Evans, why else would I be here? I'm not daft!"

The voice that had replied to me was gentler, softer than I remembered. This time, I looked up into his face; he had certainly grown up, with his looks whether or not this continued into his personality was yet to be told, but his looks had become impressive. His jet-black hair was still untidy but somehow looked more handsome, as it fell onto his face, flopping into his eyes. Moreover, I had not realised it, until today but James Potter had the most intriguing brown eyes.

He had gotten taller too, so tall infact he was now crouching, to talk to me properly. "Evans?" He smiled. If he was about to take yet another chance to ask me out, I would be sure to dash it again. "James, no." I laughed, although it was not funny, it was amusing that he would never give up. After five years of asking, he still had not gone back on his word from the promise he made in their first year.

'_I'll never give up on you Evans.' _He glanced at me, as though willing me to remember the same thing and I smiled and shook my head.

"Oh fine then, but we have to get on, for the sake of our…Head Boy and Head Girl. Ness" he added weakly.

"Fair enough James, fair enough." I consented while permitting myself to smile as he looked away. As much as he annoyed me, he did make me laugh.

The door to the compartment opened again, this time showing a girl a year younger than both of us named Bellatrix Black. Her unruly hair, hung like a mane around her shoulders, black in colour, it matched her personality. Bellatrix was a cousin of Sirius', and this bothered James, I could see it in his eyes, for it worried him that Sirius would turn out to be just like her. I stared at him, willing him to understand my message through my eyes.

'Sirius is not the same.' Without warning Bellatrix attacked. The curse that hit me was more painful than anything I had ever felt before in my life, as though a hundred knives were stabbing me all over my body. As if I were being twisted and turned in ways that it was not supposed to be possible. Was this how I was going to die? My mind ached to see life again, I could hear a distant voice shouting and a girl screaming, far far away.

I awoke to see James sitting beside me. I was in the hospital wing. How long had I been here? What had happened? So many questions raced through my mind.

I looked up at him, in a heartbeat he apologised, said he had tried to stop her, but she was too quick, "she…it was the Cruciatus Curse." He added regretfully. "I am so sorry Lily, if there was anything I could do I would have done, you know that don't you?"

"Do I James?" the anger in my voice must have surfaced. How could a girl be quicker than a boy could, as James Potter could, he was a Quidditch player, a seeker, nonetheless! And here he was claiming that Bellatrix Black was quicker?

"Lily…" he began.

"James." I finished for him, "I could have died. And did you even care?"

"Did you want me to care?" he grinned.

"Get out." I snapped, pronouncing each syllable as carefully as I could. I was consumed by nothing more than anger for him.

_One month later. _

Professor McGonagall's voice rang out across the Transfiguration corridor, "My class will proceed to the Great Hall, where we will be having our lesson." She glanced around her.

"And that includes you, Lestrange. Are you not in my class also?" she snapped at a tall, dark eyed boy whom I recognised as a companion of Bellatrix. I shuddered.

I walked, along with my two best friends Alice, and Molly to the Great Hall, discussing Alice's infatuation with Frank Longbottom. "Just ask him Ali'" I smiled, we all knew that he liked her too. He was just too shy. _Not like him. _I thought to myself. _He doesn't stop._

We reached the Great Hall in no less than five minutes, Professor McGonagall turned breathlessly around the corner as we did so. "Lily, hello." She smiled as she greeted me. "Good morning Professor." I smiled back. "Why are we in here?" I asked her curiously.

"Well…" the middle aged witch's Scottish accent became broader here, as it did when she grew angry, so that I had to listen rather intently to what she was saying. "It seems, Mr Black and Mr Potter here…" she beckoned towards the boys who stood in a corner of the hall, hanging their heads in mock shame. "Decided that they would levitate our whole classroom. Including the floor." She finished dramatically. "So we couldn't practise transfiguration in a room with no floor." She marched away; I shook my head at the boys, who were now in a fit of triumphant giggles and though I gave them a disapproving look I was barely suppressing a grin.

"Now then" Professor McGonagall was addressing the class, I paid particular attention to her, for she was my head of house, and could be cruel when it came to docking points.

"I will be asking you each to come forward and draw a name out of this goblet, when you have done so. You may go and find your partner and begin the incantation _Drasio. _In this lesson we are attempting to transfigure our partners, into stone. Not to worry, the effects do not last. It is a precaution however, that you may you blocking spells, should you get …" she paused turning to look at the boys in particular, "scared." She finished with a smile.

I got up and started towards McGonagall, I was hoping that I got a decent partner, you know one who wouldn't scare easily, Alice may have been small but she was certainly daring. I was hoping my piece of parchment would say her name on it. As I took the folded piece of yellow parchment in my hand and proceeded to open it, Professor McGonagall called out " I forgot to mention, you will be partnered boy and girl. I shall wish to see your full co operation in this matter."

I grimaced, lucky me. Going with a boy.

My hands unfolded the parchment, and my heart dropped as I saw the name that was written on it in black ink.

_James Potter. No no no this was not happening._

I glanced around at Molly who had been paired with Arthur, and Alice who had been paired with Frank.

What was going on?

I stared at Professor McGonagall, the corners of her mouth twitching, daring to smile. She looked at me, "Miss Evans you are both bright students, I shall expect you will work well together." I scowled. This could not be happening, my best lesson with the worst boy.

Then a tap on my shoulder caused interruption to my thoughts and I turned around. He was standing behind me, a smile on his face, holding out his hand. "Friends?" he asked quietly. I looked at his hand, which was still outstretched and then up at his face again. His brown eyes were twinkling, "Come on Lily, I'm not going to bug you. I just want to work with you without you trying to hex me!" _Did he just call me Lily?! No Evans? Oh well there was still time. Still an hour left of the lesson…_

"Fine! But James, if you try anything…" I laughed.

"I wont I promise."

"Well if you do, I'm more than capable of a full body bind." I grinned back.

We dodged and dived all lesson, and finally I managed it. _Dracio _I called while laughing, and as I looked at the stone James Potter in front of me, I could see that a smile was still etched upon his face. "Professor?" I called, "How do I …make him normal again?"

"Normal? Why…of course." She smiled. _Bartoanda._ She flicked her wand, and a still laughing James emerged.

"So Evans?" he called, I had been right, there was time enough for it to be, said. "I mean Lily" he smiled, laughing again.

"Does this mean that you don't like Snivellus anymore?" The grin from his face had been replaced, by a look of sincerity, which was not usually to be seen there.

"What are you talking about Potter?" I retorted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" he walked towards me, while I backed away. " Do you like him?"

The rest of the class had gone away; I could only see James, and his piercing dark eyes, that were looking into mine…

"Did McGonagall not tell her star student what that Goblet does?" he smiled, unknowingly taunting her. "Did she not tell you, that that Goblet only gives you, the name that your heart truly desires?" he continued.

While I had been backing away, we had covered the breadth of the space in which we were working in, a cabinet that was placed behind me, did not move, as some did. So instead, I crashed into it. My back sending throbbing signals throughout my body, and there he was standing in front of me. His hand placed onto the cabinet, next to my head, his body inches from mine. I looked up, and saw a fleeting look of glee pass over his face. Before I realised what was going on. "Forget it Potter, I still won't go out with you." He moved his hand away, retreating into the space that we had just come from.

"Fine." He called back. "Fine."

I carried on walking back towards him, and as I reached him, gave a hug and whispered in his ear, "No I do not fancy…" I paused. "Snivellus."

He laughed his face a picture, before turning to join Sirius and Remus across the room.

I stared after him. I was watching the cocky way that he bounced on the soles of his feet, I shook my head. What was wrong with me?

"Hey Lily!"

"Hi James!" I smiled happily.

Over the last month I had seen a change in James Potter like no other, the roguish charm was still there, there was no doubt about that. However, he was beginning to grow up, into a charming, enlightening, and clever young man. Not to mention hilarious! I smiled to myself. What was coming over me? Was I beginning to develop feelings for the boy whom I had despised for so long?

"Lily!" A voice brought me to my senses; Molly was standing in front of me, shaking me by the shoulders. "Hello! Earth to Lily!" she laughed. "Do you fancy James?" She giggled.

"What? No." I grimaced. The thought of it…well the thought of it made me wonder, did i?

But they were not to know that. I had long since forgiven James for the 'Bellatrix incident' but he was not to know that either. Or did he already?

"It's just since he walked away you haven't stopped staring at him"

I had always been smart at school, always been the one to grasp things, and yet here I was unable to understand the most natural thing that a girl or boy should go through. Here I was struggling to understand my own feelings, and if I were finding it difficult to understand this then I would have no clue when it came to distinguishing Wendelin the Weirdo's fantasies for Bromley the Barmy, in my History of Magic N.E.W.T.

_Love._

Surely though, love was to be with somebody who you truly cared for, and were together with, not a boy who had been your source of torment for the last five years….Surely.

"Molly? I don't know…" I looked at her fearfully. She giggled, "Well if you don't, we know he certainly still does." She smiled.

"How do you know that?"

"I have my ways." She whispered, while pointing vaguely behind her, I did not look around, I knew that Molly was very good friends with Sirius, who in turn, was best friends with James. It all added up. "And anyway" she continued, "Why do you care so much what I know, if you don't want to know?"

I did not have an answer this time, nor the time after that, and as Sirius' and Molly's questioning became more intense, I retreated to Gryffindor tower, spending more and more of my time watching the Quidditch, from the window of the Common Room.

I stared out of the window watching him fly; he did so with so much grace and certainty, I shook my head, not able to take my eyes from him as I saw his hands close over something small and fluttering. He had caught the golden snitch.

_He has caught your heart too. _A voice inside my head told me.

"Shut up and go away.'" I muttered.

"Oh fine then! It's a bit rude though, to not even look up!" A teasing voice laughed, the sound of it making me jump. I had not realised I was sharing the common room with anybody else. Sirius Black was standing just beside me, staring down at my half-written Potions essay. We had only really become friends fairly recently, nothing to do with the fact of who _his _friend was. It was due to the constant tormenting of Severus, or Snivellus as they called him, that had led to me being partnered with Sirius, and he was a nice boy, a little flirty, with too many compliments too soon, but nonetheless, nice. His dark hair, and strong physique, was enough to make any girl go weak at the knees, but not me, not now.

I had been revising for my N.E.W.T.S until I had been distracted, and now I was nothing but flustered. For if there was one thing I did not like it was sneaks.

"SIRIUS! Goodness… you shouldn't sneak up on people, especially not _now_" I cried. Sirius nodded understanding that I was talking about the war that had just been declared, "How long have you been there?"

He laughed and tossed his dark floppy hair out of his eyes, so I could see his face. He bent down, bouncing on his knees so that we were face to face, able to be on a talking level. I could see his eyes were smiling. It annoyed me when this had to happen.

"I didn't sneak up on you Lily; I've been sitting in that chair over there for the last fifteen minutes." He coyly smiled. I hated it when he did that, making people feel tiny. I mean I _was_ tiny but that was not the point.

"Oh." I grimaced, hoping that I wasn't giving too much away with my look. How much had he seen?! I decided not to ask, but Sirius pursued the matter.

"Do you fancy James?"

"James??" I laughed.

_James with his messy black hair, his hazel eyes that seemed to read into you, when he smiled. James who looked like he had just jumped from a broomstick._

Sirius was smarter than he let on, usually letting it go, to be the joker of the marauders. Padfoot, they called him. I wonder how that nickname came about? Sirius' feet looked a lot bigger than to just 'pad' along to me. I laughed as I stared down at his shoes. Ignoring my own thoughts and glancing upwards again I forced myself to stare defiantly back at him, he was still looking confidently back at me.

'Of, of course I don't fancy James. Sirius what do you think I am?' I snapped.

'Oh ok ok, I was just wondering why you had spent the last fifteen minutes staring out of the window, at the precise moment when our mutual Seeker-playing friend was training. Oh and also, why do you have a heart on your parchment that reads L.E 4 J.P?' Sirius smiled gleefully, never taking his eyes from me.

'I…I…Sirius…please?' I stammered, there was no getting away from it. He had guessed my deepest darkest secret. I was in love. In love with James Potter.

He smiled at me knowingly, tapped his nose and replied 'Ooh Evans, you're playing hard to get!'

And with that he had walked out of the Gryffindor common room, and up the spiral staircase that led to the boys dormitories.

I scribbled out my initials that were entwined in a heart, with the letters J.P.

J.P could stand for anything though couldn't it?

I stomped my way up to bed, I left the Potions work out, hoping by some amazing miracle it would write itself, I settled into bed next to Alice and Molly, they were snuggled into their pillows, dead to the world.

Well no, not literally _dead, _I probably shouldn't say things like that in these times, with that Lord Voldemort killing people right, left and center.

As my head fell back onto my soft phoenix feather pillow thoughts of Severus, Bellatrix, and Lucius Malfoy started running through my mind.

The time when Bellatrix Black decided to practise the Cruciatus Curse on me, and Severus stood by and watched flashed vividly before my eyes. The tears that formed in my eyes began flowing freely down my face, and there was not a thing I could do to stop them. I did not even try. Thoughts of Severus only made them worse. The pain I went through, was not only in my bones and muscles, which were being twisted in ways they weren't supposed to be and in the white hot knives stabbing me all over my body, but it was in my mind. Why had the boy who I had been friends with throughout childhood suddenly decided to abandon me and become a crazed psychopath who only followed those who called themselves 'PureBlood'? It would not have mattered to me, only that Sev himself, was not a pure blood. He was quite the same as me, half-blood, muggle born.

A mud blood. I forced myself to think of happier thoughts. _Think of James._

The unknown voice inside my head whispered to me, willing me to love him. No matter how much I tried, I could not get Severus and his gang of Slytherins out of my head. What was it they were calling themselves these days? I questioned, not knowing was the beginning of failure, silently reprimanding myself.

Suddenly it sprang to the front of my mind, like a bludger that was being bat by Arthur Weasley. 'Death Eaters'.

'_Dirty Mudblood' _they called me.

Moreover, as much as I was strong, I could not help but let the tears escape me when I was alone. Did they know?

_Think of James. _The voice repeated. I accepted the challenge. James Potter, I smiled to myself. Now there was a young man who it was worth giving your heart away to. This appeared to settle my mind, as I began to drift off to sleep.

"_**Oh come on Evans, why won't you just go out with me?" **_

"_**James Potter, you are an arrogant toerag and I will never go out with you."**_

"_**But why? Don't you want to see what it tastes like?"**_

"_**That's my point! You think you're all that don't you? Just because you play Quidditch!"**_

"_**Whoahhh, I'm the captain Evans!"**_

"_**And another thing James, call me Lily!"**_

"_**Alrite, alrite **__**Lily**__**, will you go out with me?"**_

"_**Just give it up Potter, I've said no, so move on!"**_

"_**I'll never give up Lily, and I'll never do that until you make a move on me."**_

_**Sirius began to giggle at this. Clearly thinking it meant something else.**_

"_**And you! You're as bad as he is! LEAVE – ME – ALONE!"**_

My head was spinning; I had become tangled in the duvet, covering my four-poster bed, in Gryffindor Tower. I stared around the room, Alice and Molly were still asleep, their dreams were untouched. Molly was probably dreaming of Arthur, her new boyfriend, and Alice, well Alice always had a crush on that Longbottom boy. Sweat was pouring down my face, I was remembering the worst things I had ever said to him. As much as I loved him, I didn't doubt that he would refuse to feel the same way. He used to, but I turned him away too much, nobody is worth that much pain. I thought to myself. The reasons were clear, the answer to why he would turn away from me if I told him anything. I turned over, wrapping the duvet around me tighter hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep….

"_**You filthy mudblood how dare you speak to me like that!" Narcissa cried while raising her wand towards a cowering child.**_

"_**NARCISSA! What are you doing?!"**_

"_**Why… it's another one! Hello Evans how are you?" A sweet smile escaping her lips.**_

"_**Narcissa STOP!"**_

_**A dark haired witch with pale palid features stepped out of the shadows.**_

"_**Evans why are you here alone?" she smiled gleefully.**_

"_**Bella- I … I'm a prefect."**_

" _**And you think that matters to me? When the Dark Lord takes over you shall die!" she raised her wand.**_

"_**Cruc-"**_

"_**OI BELLATRIX LEAVE HER ALONE!"**_

"_**Ooooh Potter to the rescue" she crooned, before beckoning Narcissa and walking away slowly, only to laugh before turning the corner.**_

I woke slowly, my mind unsure of where I was, what I was doing. My duvet was still wrapped tightly around me and my pillows were on the floor. Then I remembered I was in Gryffindor Tower in my girls' dormitory, but as I looked around me, there was no sign of Alice or of Molly. My heart began to thump, their beds looked as though they had not been slept in, when I distinctly remembered seeing them last night. Last night? What time was it? I looked at my alarm clock that was next to my bed, it read 11:02. Defence Against the Dark Arts was in eight minutes, and I was surely going to be late.

That couldn't be right! I wouldn't have slept for so long, and Alice surely would have woken me…

I stared at my bed ridden appearance in the mirror, my red hair was sticking out madly at all angles, and my green eyes looked as though they had just been through a heavy course of Pepper –Up. _Well you are a witch._

I smiled to myself, of course I am! I felt underneath my bed for emergency supplies, soon I would be fine. With my hair straightened, or rather less curled than it was, and my eyes brighter, I would be fine.

Fifteen minutes later I was hurrying along the Charms corridor, looking for the Gingold the Great statue which Sirius had told me, took me directly outside Professor Dorwent's room, if you tapped it and said _Elocidus. _So I tapped the statue and without fail, it hopped aside and as I ran down the small passageway, I was soon breathlessly, but thankfully outside my Defence against the Dark Arts classroom. I was certainly late I had never excelled at Defence against the Dark Arts but if I was to pursue my career as an Auror in the Ministry of Magic, I would at least have to achieve an A for Acceptable. We all knew that James Potter was the best in the class, but usually nobody had the courage to ask him for help. Well was Gryffindor famous for courage or not? I thought to myself. Moreover, was I not placed in Gryffindor? Then I should be courageous.

As I opened the door, thirty faces turned my way, I saw the marauders standing by a table, smiling at me. I lowered my eyes, as I did not dare look at Sirius, had he told James? Lily! Courage! I told myself. So I began to make my way over to the one face who I did care of. James.

Before I could even reach his table, Professor Dorwent's screeching voice echoed around the room, I flinched unsure of what to do.

"And where, Miss Evans do you think you are going?"

"I…well…I need to speak to James…" I finished weakly.

"Well may I request you leave your romance until after my lesson please?" she smiled.

I was infuriated, "But Professor, its not like that!" My cheeks burned, I did not know if they showed any sign of embarrassment, but I hoped not!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James' smiling expression droop slightly; clearly, Sirius had not told him. _Mental note to self, thank Sirius with a bag of Dung bombs, sure he would put them to good use._

"No buts Miss Evans, you are late, and therefore you shall be seated." Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Sitting next to Mr Malfoy."

My expression must have showed it all, I was devastated. First of all Malfoy hated me and secondly, he hated my blood. _My dirty blood. _I could not say I felt much towards him either. He was a pompous, posh boy who had never been taught manners, in my opinion.

Grudgingly I took my seat, noticing that he moved his and inch or two to the right, further and further towards Narcissa and Bellatrix who were sitting on the next table.

"I shall require you to work together and do a mock examination today." She called out to the class, students groaning at her words. Lily caught words and phrases from the general outcry. _Not fair. No notice given. Hate her. Hate him._

I forced myself to listen, blocking out the class, as she strained to hear the instructions that were being given.

"You shall each cast any approved spell, and the other shall block this spell."

"I shall be gone five minutes; this shall be your practise."

Lucius turned to me, his blond hair shining, his eyes, of the bluest turquoise were glistening. If it was anyone else, I would have considered him a good-looking boy, but Lucius Malfoy was an evil child, someone who delighted in torment. Lost in my thoughts, I had abandoned concentration and was not ready for the spell, that knocked me into the table behind. My legs collapsed beneath me. I could hear the high shrill laugh, which I presumed, was coming from Bellatrix. I stood up, my voice was shaking as I yelled "Stupefy!"

He was ready for me, and with the spell that I had once seen James perform, shouted "Levicorpus!" and in an instant I was levitated so high, that I was within inches of hitting the ceiling. I could see Malfoy lazily spinning his wand, laughing while I was helpless to do anything. The class was staring up at me, many doe-brains unsure of how I got there. James and Sirius darted at Malfoy who dropped his wand. I came crashing down to the ground, and as I reached an inch above ground level, James waved his wand, muttering a spell I had not heard before, which slowed me down before I hit the floor.

I looked up, Malfoy, Bellatrix and Narcissa were nowhere to be seen, and Sirius was at the other side of the room talking to Remus and Peter. They were laughing, probably at a joke he had just told them. I smiled to myself before looking up into a pair of dark brown eyes that smiled back at me.

"You're welcome." He grinned at me.

"What?! I never asked for your help Potter! You weren't so willing to give it last time, so was this time out of guilt?" I screeched. Knowing I should be thanking him for saving my life, but unable to let go of my pride, I carried on. I cared too much for that. The boy standing in front of me had defended me countless times, each time, the more dangerous. I knew he cared and I wanted to open my heart to him but did not know how.

"Lily, he would have killed you up there. Do you know how dangerous that spell is?"

"Oh yeah?" I carried on defensively. "Well tell me, why did you use it on Severus?" I pointed across the room towards a tall greasy haired boy who had his back to me.

"Because he deserved it, and now you answer me something Evans." He hissed, though no trace of malice was to be found in his voice, no matter how I searched for it. "If Severus is so harmless, and good, then why did he let Malfoy do that to you?" He continued, his eyes showing nothing but care, and hurt at the reaction he had just received from me.

I took out my wand. Not wishing to cry, it was my last resort. I pointed it at him.

As I did so, his eyes flashed, as though he was daring me to try something, show him how good I really was, and how easily he could deflect my spells, with a simple flick of his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" I cried, but with a silent '_Accio'_ spell, he retrieved it as easily as if I had never taken it in the first place. I raised my wand a second time.

"Oh Evans don't make me hex you too!" he pleaded with me.

"Why James? Just tell me why!" I retorted, but despite my weakening defences nothing could have prepared me for the next bit.

"Because…I love you…"

I dropped my wand. He smiled at me. A smile that could make all of my anger melt away.

I smiled back, "Yeah and I like you too."

**Chapter IIII**

I walked towards him, quite forgetting anybody else, forgetting the wolf whistles and cat calling by various members of the class, mainly led by Sirius. My hands were shaking slightly and James caught hold of them gently, putting pressure on them, without hurting me. He softly touched my face, as though not aware there was anybody else in the room but him and me.

"Nothing to be afraid of when you're with me Lils" he smiled again, this time the cheeky charm showed through, like sunshine through a glass window.

I looked up into his face, which was smiling from all its edges, as though something was lighting it up.

"So, Evans?" He laughed. "I'm going to kiss you now. That's ok I take it?"

"I'd say so."

We had completely forgotten that we were in a Defence against the Dark Arts lesson, and as Sirius wolf whistled and Remus shook his head, while smiling whole heartedly, Alice and Molly gave me a look that was supposed to say 'Tell me everything as soon as this lesson is over.'

I reached up, placed my arms around his neck, and James Potter, swept me off my feet, quite literally, spun me around, and kissed me again. This time with more feeling than before. The feel of his lips pressing against mine, was unforgettable. I thought I would remember it for years.

Then our Professor came back into the room, we knew we were in for it before anybody said anything. Her face said it all.

"Potter, Evans! Inappropriate behaviour in the classroom! I would have expected better of you both!" She snapped. "I will be speaking to your head of house and ten points will be taken from Gryffindor and you will both receive detention tonight. My office." She barked.

James leant down so his breath tickled my ear; he whispered, "Well at least it's together."

I laughed quietly to myself, while gathering up my belongings, and as I turned around saw the look of fury plastered across the face of Severus Snape.

"Severus?"

Silence.

I tried again.

"Severus?"

"What do you want you dirty little mud blood?"

"I…What?"

"What did you just call me?" The fury and anger burned me inside, i was sick of being called this name, and it was not just the name, but the reputation that came with it, and to hear it come from someone like Severus just made it worse.

"Expelliarmus!" I cried. This time, it worked, Snape was not as quick as James had been.

His wand sailed into my hand, and as Severus fell backwards into a shelf lined with books, on how to defend yourself, I marched towards him, pointing both wands at his neck, as James, Sirius, Remus and Peter could only look on amazed.

"Give me one reason Sev."

"LILY!" He cried.

" I don't think that quite counts as a reason do you? Are you scared Snape? Scared that a mudblood might outdo you?" I shouted, the anger coursing through my veins.

"Cruc-"

"Lily…no." a softer voice had interrupted, the voice that I recognised as that of Remus Lupin, "Lily, if you do that you're as bad as he is." He smiled at me. "And we all know you're not a bad girl. You might not have an easy temper, but you're certainly not bad."

"The Cruciatus Curse is something you have to mean, you cannot care. And you can't grasp it, for you once loved him."

I turned to Remus, "Thank you, but he knows nothing of love." I nodded in Snape's direction.

"Oh Snivellus, be sure to tell you're death eater pals I say hi, I'd hate to have another reason for them _not_ to jinx me." She directed at him sarcastically. I lowered my wand; turning my back on the boy, I once called a friend. I slowly walked away.

James caught me up, put his arm around my shoulders, and said "I'm proud of you." But his words did not help, because as the tears began to fall once more, and I collapsed in a fit of sobbing into his arms, I began to think that maybe I had become too involved in their feud. James seemed to read my mind, and raised my chin so that I was forced to look at him and he said to me

"Never again will I let anyone hurt you, not as long as I'm around."

"But James…I'm a…"

"Don't say it." He whispered

"A mud blood" I cried harder into his shoulder, burying my head in his robes, which were now wet with tears. "And you would be a blood traitor, even letting me near you."

"Lily, do I look as though I am an obsessive pure blood, do I belong to the Malfoy family?"

"Well….no but…"

"Well I promise you, I won't desert you. And I won't let them hurt you."

"I love you." He ended, his voice barely even a whisper, so only I would hear him.

I nodded. Then I smiled.

"So Potter?" I taunted, "Does this mean we are…a couple?" I giggled playfully.

"Well Evans, unless you go kissing random people I should hope so." He laughed along.

It had been a month since I had agreed to be James Potter's girlfriend. We were sitting in the common room, on the floor, beside the fire; my head was resting against his knee, his arms around my waist. I looked up into his face, and as I did so, he lowered his head and kissed me softly.

"Lils? What do you want to do tonight?" he asked me softly

"Do? What do you mean?" I replied, though I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was our anniversary today, and until this very moment, I had been convinced that he had forgotten. It had hurt me, and although I was not as quick as James to profess his love, I certainly cared deeply.

Lost in my own thoughts I remembered the conversation I had with Alice, less than an hour beforehand.

' _The thing is Alice, I really care for him, I mean, I think I love him. But I cant say it. I don't know what's wrong with me, most of the girls in the school would give anything for James Potter to be their boyfriend, and I have him and it seems I'm not making the most of it."_

"_Making the most of what Lily? James loves you."_

"_Yes that's my point, why can't I tell him?"_

"_Just give it time; you know what he is like."_

"_Do you know something, when he calls me 'Lils', I actually like it. I don't go all 'grr' and want to kill him anymore."_

"_Well that's progress!" she beamed at me._

_At this point Sirius entered the room, grinning slyly, he had just been out with Joanna Bell. The date had obviously gone extremely well. His usually sleek hair was now ruffled. It strongly reminded me of James. _

"_So anyway." Alice continued before snapping "Sirius GO AWAY!" _

_He looked hurt, and glanced at me. "Oh ok stay, maybe you can help in fact!" I replied smiling. _

"_Oh sure what's up?" he asked._

"_Has James forgotten that it's our anniversary?" I blurted out._

_Sirius flattened his hair, as he did when he was nervous and looked back at me defiantly. "No Lils. James has not forgotten that it's your anniversary. Trust me."_

_I had not realised until this moment that the name 'Lils' annoyed me when anybody else used it except James._

"_DON'T CALL ME LILS!" Sirius and Alice jumped at the sudden sound of my voice being raised._

"_What? Why? James can." He whined._

"_That is different." I snapped, before turning away to face Alice, who had a startled yet bemused look upon her face._

"_So Alice, what should I wear tonight? I want to look really nice for James"_

"_Oh dear God, I am leaving now." Sirius smiled coyly._

"_Lily, wear something warm yeah?"_

_I turned to Alice, what?_

Smiling at James I glanced at him. "James, I just love…being with you." I silently kicked myself _just say it!_

'Do you know something? I love you. I've always loved you; do you think that six years of shouting my affection to you from the castle walls have been in vain?"

"James…?"

"Lily, I have to show you something. But you need to come with me. Here put my jacket on."

I continued looking back up at him, "James?"

"Just come with me. Please Lils?" he smiled.

The nickname had done it for me, i followed him, my arms around his waist, with us both walking as though we were one person joined at the hip. We continued walking until I realised where we were going, I could not take it in.

"James? He looked down at me, a grin shaping his face. Quidditch?" I gasped exasperatedly. "For our anniversary you're going to explain to me the rules of _Quidditch?_"

He only continued smiling and as we reached the Quidditch Pitch extended his hand to me, I took it, although slightly put out. I had believed that he was a little more romantic than this. Well, I thought to myself, at least he did not forget entirely.

But as we neared the edge of the pitch I realised, it was lit up with thousands of magical candles, there were no Quidditch balls in sight, and only a single broomstick balanced precariously against the stands. I looked around and as I did so, James waved his wand and the candles dimmed. "Happy anniversary Lils." I smiled back whole-heartedly. My whole face beamed as I heard _the way you look tonight _playing somewhere distant. It was our song.

Once again extended his hand to me. Nearing the broomstick, he got it into position, ready to kick off from the ground. I stopped.

"No James, I couldn't possibly…"

"What? Lily… This is my thing! I can't impress you any other way." He whined.

"James Potter how dare you. You had me at hello."

He smiled back at me, "_they told_ me to" he laughed, pointing to two boys who were sitting in the stands, if he had not have pointed them out, I would never have realised they were there. Sirius and Remus smiled down at me.

Quickly he recounted the story of how he did not know what to do for our anniversary, told Sirius angrily that he simply could not just annoy me all night. _'But Prongs you're a babe magnet.' _ That it had to special, and Remus had come up with the idea of flying over the castle grounds, with me in his arms.

"But James..." I lowered my voice to a whisper, "I'm scared of flying." He laughed, though not in a mean way.

"Lily, if you hadn't noticed, there is just one broom, that _I _will be flying. You my love are my passenger."

"But I won't fall?" I neared the broom slightly.

"No Lils you won't fall, and if you do, I promise I will be there to catch you."

He seated himself at the back of the broom, and beckoned me to join him at the front. I gingerly sat onto the vehicle that I had been so terrified of boarding before. In our first flying lesson, back in first year, I had been the one who fell off her broom, before I had even kicked off from the ground.

"Now here we go." He smiled, his arms around my waist, his breath tickling my neck. As we sailed high above Hogwarts I was happier, than I had ever remembered being, as I could see the stars close up, and the tiny world below us, became insignificant. All I could see was him.

A loud magically magnified voice, called up to us.

_Was Sirius commentating?_

I glanced at James, he grinned, and obviously, it had been pre–planned. I laughed as I heard him shout, "Potter and Evans, still going strong. Still loving each other, after all this time. – a month isn't it Remus?"

"Yes one month today Sirius. The reason why we are here." I heard Lupin call softly.

James turned to me and in the gentlest voice I could have imagined him speak in said "Lily Evans, I love you more than life itself, and I don't know what I would do without you."

I smiled, and as tears began to roll down my cheeks, from the sheer happiness of this night, I took my hand from around his waist, placed them around his neck and kissed him, whole-heartedly. _This was my happy ending._

"Oh Evans?" he continued. "I erm…. Meant to ask you something…" he stammered nervously.

_Was James Potter going to ask me to marry him?_

"What's your Quidditch team?" he laughed.

The shock must have registered on my face, as I replied, "What?"

He continued smiling laughing at the shock on my face, and replied "Well?"

"None…I don't like Quidditch James, you know that!"

We were still high above the Hogwarts rooftops. Sirius' voice was murmuring in the background, and the stars were twinkling in my eyes. I turned to him and asked softly "What about you?" "Well you see Evans, I'll show you…"

We sailed towards the ground and the case holing the golden snitch had appeared next to the stands. James stood behind me, whispered in my ear, "Open it."

Confused, I turned to him, he was watching me intently.

I bent down, and picked up the tiny, winged, golden snitch, and prised it open. Inside was a small piece of parchment, it read, 'Will you marry me Evans?' on it.

"James!" I turned around and kissed him softly.

"I've had that hidden there for five years Lils, I've always wanted this day to come, and I know we are young yet but when we are older…" he finished, his face towards the ground, not looking at me.

I placed my hand under his chin, pushed it up making him look at me.

"You will stop at nothing will you?" I asked gently.

"What?"

"You wont stop until I say yes will you?"

"No Evans, I wont."

"Just save me the trouble…please?" he joked

I pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him and kissed him, his voice cracked as he asked me a second time. "Lily will you marry me?"

"Yes!" I cried, half-laughing, half-crying.

His words echoed in my mind, I was replaying this scene repeatedly in my head. Until I was brought back to reality, and his lips were again on mine, gently kissing me. Spinning me around and laughing, he carried on kissing me.

Fireworks had sounded throughout the stadium, Padfoot and Moony were clapping, and in the sky, it spelt out, 'I love you.'

I turned to my boyfriend, his messy untidy hair, flopping over his face, I brushed it out of his eyes, looked deep into them, and softly whispered, for the first time, "I love you too. So if it's ok, I would love to be Mrs Lily James Potter."


End file.
